PANTHER

FROM NEW COLLECTION - "THROUGH AN OPEN WINDOW’’ - In loving memory of my late son John

Panther

Long before the loss
I felt the departure, 
consuming moments
of impending grief 
as if willing its arrival.

As if written in fates 
unsteady hand
on a page 
in a volume
behind a secret wall.

Feeling laughter’s hurt
I’d struggled with coherency
which lead to the smile
photographers loath.

Weeks of surreal moments 
led to funeral clothes
a box labeled John on my shoulder
numbness in slow-mo.

My self-prophecy labored
reducing my sight
from stem to rose 
from rose to stem
to rows of smiles
of scowls 
of screams
until the roof 
no longer withheld the rain. 

The gathered mass a hum; 
no words passed the guards 
defending the slideshow
in my head
frame by frame 
of elapsed time.

Until finally, I was home
to your ornamental welcome 
in the hallway,
a sign of sanctuary
in the form of a panther 
three feet high 
black porcelain 
bringing me back
without judgement 
to the stillness of now.